It has been my wife’s family tradition to gather on July 4th and again at Thanksgiving at one of the family homes in the Boston area.
On July 4th we gather at the family’s summer “cottage” in Scituate, aptly named “REST-HAVEN.” Built in 1899, the house has since been owned by three generations of Whoriskeys since 1921.
REST-HAVEN is located near Egypt Beach, far enough from the ocean so that the worst of storms have never reached the house, yet it is only a seven-minute walk to the beach. It is a large, uninsulated, unheated “cottage with redwood paneling, a wraparound deck and about twenty beds spread across four bedrooms and a sleeping porch, all on the second and third floors. The first floor is the living, cooking, dining, and entertaining space, with an infrequently used TV room off to the side. The house is eccentrically located to one side of the large double lot, providing plenty of grassy turf for children to play.
Over the years, REST-HAVEN has hosted many of the clan’s wedding celebrations and has now entertained four generations of children, who have spent countless summer hours playing on its grounds.
As recent generations of the family have moved away from the Boston area, everyone eagerly looks forward to migrating back to REST-HAVEN every July 4th, coming in from Iowa, Minnesota, California, and Canada, to join the Boston contingent and enjoy the camaraderie of the extended clan, which now numbers about 40.
My wife is the second oldest of ten siblings, which includes seven sisters. This sisterhood is the heart and soul of the family. They drive the social schedule and interpersonal dynamics of the entire clan, with a strong emphasis on being emotionally supportive and professionally encouraging, always with kindness as the overriding emotion.
The sisterhood also forms the catalyst for the dancing portion of every joyous, music-filled family gathering. As soon as the first chord of “We Are Family!” is heard, all rush to the dance floor, and the partying begins.
Of course there are times of family drama, but those discordant event are anomalies and are resolved by the sisterhood expeditiously, respectfully, and with kindness.
This clan is about as close to the ideal extended family as I can imagine.
For this July 4th celebration, Gail and I arrived at REST-HAVEN on July 1st. Gail drove while I cycled the 30 miles from Somerville to Scituate. By the time we arrived, nearly all of the extended clan were already at REST-HAVEN, with the remaining arrivals expected the following day.
Most of our time is spent carrying or playing with each other’s kids and grandkids (aged 3 months-12 years), walking to the Scituate lighthouse, going to the beach, visiting Scituate Harbor, and talking and talking and talking. And, of course, eating.
The only planned event for this July 4th holiday was a family dinner on July 3rd, followed by a walk to Egypt Beach to watch the fireworks.
This July 1st was a glorious day to be in Scituate; sunny and in the 80s, a perfect summer day.
In the late afternoon of July 1st, I found myself sitting alone on the front porch, next to an open living room window, watching the distant ocean, the clouds in the sky, the walkers making their way home from the beach, and the dog walkers.
I let my mind wander, half-listening to the indistinct but delightful sounds created by young adults and very young children coming from the living room window. They were the sounds of an extended family that truly cares about each of its members. It was the sound of familial love:
It was at that moment that I realized how fortunate I was to have been adopted into this unique clan. I cannot imagine a more loving extended family.
On the evening of July 3rd, after dinner but before the fireworks, and unbeknownst to me, K and S had organized a birthday recognition for the oldest members of the clan, which included F, G and me.
We were all born in 1954, celebrating our 70th birthday, and now retired. In front of the gathering, we were each asked to answer a uniquely appropriate question and received a gift reflecting the proper answer.
Subsequently, we each said a few words to the gathered Whoriskey clan, where I expressed my gratitude for being adopted by this magnificent extended family.
Even though the clouds of political gloom weighed heavily in the air, it was a singularly delightful 4th of July holiday.
Hayward Zwerling
Posted on My Retirement Diary on 7/5/2024.
Re-posted here on 7/26/2024.